So many of you, my sweet readers, are sending your children back to school during one of the most bizarre times in our lives. You are brave!

While seeing many of your back-to-school photos on social media, I began to think back to sending my own son off to his first day of kindergarten. What a bizarre year that was for the two of us!

Our family had moved from Texas to Arkansas at the beginning of the year so that we would be closer to our families. My husband’s cancer had advanced to the point that he was in a wheelchair due to neuropathy caused by an experimental drug treatment. He believed we would get the help we needed for the coming days if we were closer to our families.

Two weeks after our move, he entered the hospital for his next surgery and round of treatment.

Two weeks later, we found out that his father had been diagnosed with colon cancer and would not be pursuing any treatment.

My mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer the previous summer.

My husband passed away six weeks after entering the hospital.

My son, Justin, and I tried to continue our lives in Arkansas because we were close to all of our family members. We just couldn’t. So, we made the move back to Texas after my husband’s death because we were lonely, exhausted, and emotionally drained. We both needed our faith community even though we dearly loved our family.

The next month after our move back to Texas was the beginning of kindergarten for Justin.

So many changes and so much sorrow.

Justin attended daycare because I had returned to work a few months before my husband’s cancer diagnosis. He and I were used to our daily routine. I had no sadness sending him into his classroom at the daycare; I knew he was being well taken care of.

Then, that first day of “real school” happened. He was so excited. We took the obligatory photo in front of our house with his backpack. We drove to the same location because the church daycare also had a school. Nothing really out of the ordinary. Except for my emotions.

He entered his new school with excitement. I left the school with tears in my eyes.

Relentless sobbing occurred during my entire drive to work. Why was I so emotional? Because!

Life was not supposed to happen this way!! I was not supposed to be experiencing a monumental moment in my son’s life by myself!! It wasn’t fair!

Why couldn’t his father be with me and with him for such a big day?

Because life is not fair!!

Life has never been fair since Adam sinned in the Garden of Eden. We became separated from the God who created us for great things. Even though God sent His only Son to pay the price for our sin, life here on earth would never again be fair, even for those who believe in Jesus as their Savior. Jesus said so while He lived on earth.

John 16:33 – “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”

Every day has trouble.

Matthew 6:33 – “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

So, expect trouble. Expect trials. Expect tribulation. Life is NOT fair.

Oh, but I wanted it to be that day I dropped my son off to begin “real school.” I wanted fairness. I wanted what so many other families had (or what I perceived them to have).

God knew that day was coming. He knew exactly how I would feel. He knew exactly what His plan was for my life. Fairness in His eyes is so different from fairness in my eyes.

God’s plan for me is to glorify Him in many ways. His plan for that to happen in my life has obviously needed some trials through fire to burn off the dross of the world so that I could reflect Him. God is using every single trial I encounter for His good, not for my fairness, so that His purpose is being fulfilled.

Many times, throughout the Bible, the writers spoke of the day of trouble and the time of trouble. Their answer was to call upon the Lord. God will give us exactly what we need in those times.

Psalm 37:39 – “But the salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; He is their strength in time of trouble.”

Psalm 46:1 – “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

Nahum 1:7 – “The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, and He knows those who take refuge in Him.”

He was my stronghold during my drive to work that first day of kindergarten. He had been my refuge for so many years even before that day. He has been and is my strength to get through the troubles of each day.

Does your day seem unfair? Does it seem your whole life looks different from your friends’ lives? Do you think you have more trouble than your neighbor? Do you think life shouldn’t look like it does right now?

Here is our hope. In the end, God’s children will be rescued from our trouble and tribulation.

1 Corinthians 15:53-57 – “For this perishable must put on the imperishable, and this mortal must put on immortality. But when this perishable will have put on the imperishable, and this mortal will have put on immortality, then will come about the saying that is written, ’Death is swallowed up in victory. O Death, where is your victory? O Death, where is your sting?’ The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law; but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Until that day comes, call upon the Lord. Keep pouring your heart to Him. Accept His peace.

He will be your strength each day as He was for me on that first day of kindergarten during that very bizarre year for me and my son.