The doctors believed my husband, Slick, needed yet another surgery if the next round of chemo was to work. We had moved to another state with different doctors. Back into the hospital he went for the scheduled operation. Being back in Arkansas meant our relatives could now visit with him. Slick’s Aunt Mary lived near the hospital and loved coming by to see her nephew. On the day of his surgery, she came to the hospital so I would not be alone in the waiting room. Normally, I would walk next to his gurney toward the operating suite. This time, since his aunt was with me, he told me to take her to the cafeteria for our lunch. He waved good-bye and told me he would see us in a while.

Those were the last words I heard him say.

He left the operating room a few hours later on a ventilator. He never spoke another word.

I wish I had known at the time that those words would be his last. I would have stepped closer to him. I would have listened more carefully. I would have written his words down on paper or recorded them. I would have asked him to repeat them over and over. I would not have let him go into a place that silenced his speech, no matter how advanced the cancer had become.

If you knew him, you knew he loved words more than anyone around him. He was the best storyteller I have ever known. He could command his audience every time he spoke. Harsh words never came out of his mouth. Some of his thoughts should never have exited his mouth, but people still remember them to this day; and they laugh. He loved to use his words to make people laugh.

As God has led me to write this next chapter, the topic of words has been coming to my mind over and over. I love words. I can’t always find the one I want to use sometimes, though. I know now how important words are after seeing my husband unable to use them. I wanted to know what God has to say about words, so I searched His Word, the Bible.

Words have purpose. They can be spoken, written, read, repeated, sung, and heard. Words must be understood in order to have clear communication. Words can seem reasonable but need to be tested.

Words can be used for discipline, for teaching, for persuasion, for prayer, and for comfort.

Our words must be carefully chosen and must be acceptable in God’s sight.

What comes out of our mouth is what is in our spirit. If our spirit is not in subjection and in agreement with God, our words can be shattering, annoying, argumentative, unprofitable, deceitful, wicked, distorted for evil, arrogant, empty, perverted, worthless, wearying, false, and evil. We can speak without having knowledge and wisdom. Our words can become a snare to others. Controversial speech can lead to envy, strife, and abuse. We can give lip service with an irreverent heart.

God’s words, however, are beautiful, good, helpful, pure, sweet, pleasant, amazing, eternal, gracious, faithful, and true. His words give strength, peace, and eternal life. What we must remember is that His words will be fulfilled. Therefore, they should be heeded. We are blessed when we read and obey God’s words.

During our Christmas celebration this year, I was surprised when one of our sons told me and other family members that I had earned the right to have blessings after putting up with our three boys as they grew. A child of ours recognized that parenting can be hard! Wow! His statement made my heart so happy. Just a few weeks earlier, though, I had been told by someone else dear to me that I have to change my Christian beliefs in order to have a relationship with them. Those words broke my heart.

Words can bless, and words can wound. They can gain good results, or they can cause division.

I have loved this analogy for several years now and am sharing it with you.

“You are holding a cup of coffee when someone comes along and bumps into you or shakes your arm, making you spill your coffee everywhere.

Why did you spill the coffee?

‘Because someone bumped into me!!!’‘

Wrong answer.

You spilled the coffee because there was coffee in your cup. Had there been tea in the cup, you would have spilled tea.

Whatever is inside the cup is what will spill out.

Therefore, when life comes along and shakes you (which WILL happen), whatever is inside you will come out. It's easy to fake it until you get rattled.

So, we have to ask ourselves, “what's in my cup?"

When life gets tough, what spills over?

Joy, gratefulness, peace, and humility?

Anger, bitterness, harsh words. and reactions?

Life provides the cup. YOU choose how to fill it.”

When I am bumped by life, what flows from my mouth? Blessings or curses?

How sad my memory would be if my husband’s spirit had not in submission to God. If his last words had been evil, my heart would have been shattered.

After being placed on the ventilator, Slick’s only form of communication was writing. With his mind and body full of pain medication, most of his written words were very difficult to understand. He knew what he wanted; he just could not find a way for me and the medical staff to understand him. That tablet of paper he used was his lifeline, and we tried so hard to grasp his communication. Most of his words at that point were gibberish to the rest of us.

But God is good.

One day, my husband wrote me a very special note that made sense. I still have it.

Those last written words of his were cherised.

We never know when we will speak our last words. That moment is all in God’s time.

I wish I had known at that moment in the hospital.