CAN YOU HEAR ME?

Words are the vehicle God gave us to communicate with one another. Words are important. Words are used in conversation which can be brief or lengthy. Some words are remembered because of the impact made at the time, and the speaker may not even be aware at the time of the impact.

After my husband died during the early hours of the morning, I went home where my father was waiting up for me. He had put my son, Justin, to sleep in his bed. I only had two bedrooms, so I moved Justin to my bed so my father could have a place to get some sleep.

When I woke Justin up to move him, I told him that his Daddy had passed away from his cancer and that he was now with Jesus in heaven. Justin then said, “Why didn’t you let me see Daddy more?”

My heart broke at his words.

My little four-year-old son didn’t realize that there were rules his mother had to follow at the hospital. In his little world, Mommy was in charge and it was her fault that he didn’t get to see his Daddy. Oh, if I could have changed that for him during those past six weeks, I would have. The two of us would have lived in Daddy’s room all day and all night. Not even Mommy got that privilege, though.

That was a tough conversation.

Justin and my father woke up before I did from our very short night of sleep. As I was getting ready for that “first day” as a widow, Justin heard me and came into my room. “Guess what, Mommy!” “What, Justin?” “Daddy’s having breakfast with Jesus today.”

My heart melted at his words.

Yes, Daddy was!

What profound insight for a four-year-old!

While driving back the next day from the funeral home in Searcy to our home in North Little Rock, I was trying to prepare Justin for the funeral. With what my son had expressed with his words during his father’s illness, I believe he needed to experience the funeral of his father. I explained that some people may be crying because they would be sad that Daddy had gone to heaven. Justin said, “I’m not gonna cry.”

My heart was fearful at his words.

Had I not explained carefully enough about dying? About the funeral? Would the funeral be too much for him?

I used my words to find answers instead of living with that fear.

“Why are you not going to cry, Justin?”

“I’m not gonna cry because I have Daddy in my heart.”

My heart was relieved at his words.

Communication! Words!

What different emotions words can bring!

What does it even mean to communicate? The dictionary says it means “to convey or to impart.” What are we conveying or imparting? Those thoughts and emotions that are inside of us.

God gave us a language to use when He created mankind. Men then wanted to use that language for their glory instead of for God’s glory, so He confused that one language and created many languages so the people could not understand one another.

Language confusion is still around today! There are times that I need an interpreter for the language I’ve learned from birth! What in the world is that person trying to say?

These days (ok, at my age), finding the right word may take minutes, even hours, to bring up in my brain instead of the milliseconds it used to be. I am all about words, their meanings, and how to use them properly. Not finding “my” words are frustrating. Most of us are not patient while waiting for someone to finish their thought.

In the past few weeks, communication with others, for some reason, has been difficult.

One morning I had to wake up my granddaughter to put her in the car to return her to one of her parents. I tried to say something to her and she just held up her hand to let me know there would be no talking to her during our drive. No talking, Grammy.

Another person didn’t like what I had to say and interrupted every sentence I was trying to complete. I could not finish a sentence while trying to slowly gather my words in my brain. However, both of us were trying to communicate without a much-needed ingredient—INFORMATION! Neither of us had done a good job communicating what was happening in our individual worlds, and past experiences, along with impatience and hurting emotions inhibited our communication.

My father was deaf in one ear and was always telling me that I mumbled, but he just couldn’t hear properly. Repeating myself was tiring. Now, another person in my life is losing their hearing and literally cannot hear all my words. At the time I was speaking, I was unaware of how much loss they had. I just believed this person was ignoring me. Again, lack of the information that I needed caused that conversation to be frustrating.

So, after all of these incidences, my desire to communicate with words was finished. I was done. If no one was listening, why was I talking?

Talking needs someone to hear and hearing needs someone to listen.

Hearing means “to perceive by the ear.” Listening means “to hearken, to give heed, to yield.”

We may hear someone talking, but are we truly listening?

What we hear goes through years of our personal experiences. Those experiences are usually not known by the speaker. We must take the time to LISTEN by peeling back their layers of experiences and emotions to understand their words.

“For the ear tests words as the palate tastes food.” Job 34:3

On the other hand, if the listener cannot understand what we are trying to convey, we must change our words to meet their level of understanding. Communication is a two-way endeavor. (Thank you, SSA Interviewing Skills Workshop in 1989! I was listening.)

Imagine if your words were kept and then read by millions of people throughout future generations. Paul mentions two women in Philippians 4 who needed to “live in harmony in the Lord.” Their names were Euodia and Syntyche. I am sure, at the time, they never thought there would be a way for me to read about their lack of communication in 2021 in the Bible!!! Embarrassing to say the least! We now have the technology to put our words into a form that someone in the future may read. Let’s all try to not embarrass ourselves.

We may never know in our lifetime that the words we speak are being held by someone for decades.

Those words may be comforting, encouraging, loving, sweet, or memorable. Or they may be heartbreaking, devastating, or painful.

Our goal is to make sure our thoughts come out as words that heal and restore and not as words that create fear and pain.

“How sweet are Your words to my taste! Yes, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” Psalm 119:103

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24

“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29

Communication is more than just sharing words.