Looking for a Purpose

I’m a little bit goal-oriented. In the past, I have literally had a three-page to-do list. Now my list is a bit shorter; but it still exists, mostly to remind my aging brain of the things that must be done for things to survive, like the pets, the plants, or sometimes, myself. Some items on my list are my “want-to” things, such as, scrapbooking my trip to Israel this year, completing a Bible study, or crocheting a sweater (that I’ll probably never finish, much less wear).

In this stage of my life, I now have the luxury of procrastinating on some of these items. The shrubs will look better if I trim them, but they won’t die. Some days I want to finish my list, but I don’t have the physical or mental energy. I blame that lack of energy on my heart condition; it can’t be my age, right?

During those times of fatigue, I feel like I’m wasting the time that God has given me; and I do not like to waste time. The probability of me living another six and a half decades is pretty slim. So, how should I spend these remaining years? What is my purpose? What is God calling me to do?

These thoughts have been bouncing around in my mind for the past few months. Is my life now just for all the things I’ve wanted to do when I didn’t have the time or resources? Or, perhaps, to do some of those things? Do I just sit and enjoy the things I like to do? Or do I continue to search for a greater and higher purpose from the Lord? (That’s a rhetorical question.) Will my purpose be big or small? I want to “do things” for the Lord; but there are limitations on my body and mind, and plans are difficult to keep at times. I just can’t do the things I used to do. Anyone else relate?

I could have all the people around me to answer these questions for me and receive a different answer from each of them based on their perspectives. However, I really want the Holy Spirit’s answer. As I have been studying in Ecclesiastes and in some of the Psalms, I know God is the One who gives meaning to life. Life without Him is “vanity and striving after the wind.”

God told me years ago to write my story so that I “may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (2 Corinthians 1:4) So, my foremost purpose is to encourage others to trust in God and in Him alone. So, as I journal my rambling thoughts during this search for my purpose in this season of life, I invite you to join me, both in praying for me and in seeking God alone for your purpose right now. I do know that this life is to be taken one step at a time in faith in the Lord. I will never see His big picture for me; and frankly, based on my past, I don’t want to see into my future. I do know He has His purpose for me. I just want to be obedient…one step at a time. That’s one of His purposes for me. Lots of questions…waiting on His answers.